Konscience Konsumer to Kmart

We moved into our beautiful new house last Saturday, with nothing but the 8 suitcases we moved here with. It will take another 8-10 weeks for our furniture and other household crap to get here. M did all the legwork and was able to rent us the absolute necessities for the interim. We literally have 2 beds, a sofa, TV and TV stand, 2 bedside tables, and 2 recliners. I am all about “less is more” these days, but one of the best things about this house is that is has a gargantuan play room downstairs for the girls. Now, some of you may know that in the last couple of years, I had successfully rid our home of crappy plastic toys, which was quite an undertaking. However, since the eco-sustainable wood doll house, easel, table and chairs, dress up clothes, books and a few puzzles and board games that once filled our play room in Reno are currently in a storage unit somewhere in the Nevada desert, we have a huge, empty, cold room.
Now, moving is a pain in the ass, whether it is across the street, across the country, or across the globe. You never really realize how important things like sheets, towels, and brooms are until you don’t have any of them. For the sake of saving as much $ as we can, we had to hit up our local stores to replace all of these things (and much more). Here in Australia, the cheap stores are Target (nothing like Target in the States…really, you can’t even compare the two. Target AUS is like Kmart in the USA), Kmart (a lot like Kmart at home, but crappier, and sans all Martha Stewart stuff), and Big W (which I initially thought was Walmart Oz, but it’s not. It’s owned my Woolworths, one of the main grocery store chains). For the sake of convenience, we bought most of our household items at Kmart. Don’t mean to be a hater, but it’s all pretty much garbage. I guess you get what you pay for!
Anyhow, before M returned to work, he went out for one last shopping excursion, and returned with a car full of cheap, crappy, plastic toys for the girls. Initially, I was appalled! My children were not going to play with BPA laden, made in China, unethically produced toys! However, my anger subsided in about one minute when I saw the look of pure glee on A’s face. “Mommy, junky plastic stuff!” she shouted to me, giggling. In addition to the plastic blocks, another easel, fake “lego” table, and blow up over sized bowling game (my personal favorite. NOT!), M purchased a coffee table in a box for A to use as a “nature table”. Now, any Waldorf influenced family knows the importance of a “nature table” both at school and in the home. After putting this one together for A, I had to laugh at the irony of the whole endeavor. It isn’t even made of real wood, but some covered plywood pulp crap that had a subtle chemical stench that clung to the room like a poopy diaper for about a week. It is quite possibly the worst piece of furniture we have ever owned, and it now sits in A’s room, covered by a green cloth, her gold silk scarf, and all of her plastic toys. I guess it’s time to hang up my eco-warrior cape and replace it with a polyester hoodie. From Kmart, of course.

10

So, I’ve been here in Australia for nearly 6 weeks. I have finally gotten this blog started, and now I need to actually write. I decided to come up with a list of the Top 10 most noticeable differences between here and home. As we begin to adjust, these differences will become more and more muted and insignificant, but for now, these stand out the most in my mind.

1. Things are clean. Not that there isn’t character, but there is less trash in the streets, less tagging on everything, and every public restroom I’ve been in has been “tidy” (that’s a cool word I picked up here….). Even the city streets and public transportation vehicles (tram, bus and train) don’t smell like BO, rotten Kimchi, or ass.

2. When referencing your spouse/significant other, you say “partner”. The term “partner” encompasses your fiance, spouse, or de facto partner (including those in a same-sex relationship). This makes my list because it shows that Australians are far less concerned with labels and I appreciate the ambiguity. In a recent study, 62 percent of Australians support Marriage Equality, which is higher than in the States. It’s reassuring to know that I live in a place that is more aligned with my personal values.

3. Baked goods. As in, scones, muffins, croissants, pies, cookies (which they call biscuits, that can be both sweet and/or savory…I know, it’s weird. Who would eat a garlic cookie?), slices (really like a bar cookie) and desserts ALL OVER THE PLACE. To top it all off, I have seen fewer overweight individuals, yet I always see people eating the white flour/refined sugar/diet destroying treats. Not sure how they do it, but when I find out I will let you know.

4. $12 pints of Ben and Jerry’s Ice Cream. This only makes my list because of number 3. If I could afford the B&J’s, I would probably be fighting homesickness with it. But I eat scones instead….

5. Rarely do you see anyone driving whilst talking on a cell phone. In fact, I have only seen ONE person talking on their phone when driving in the city. Coincidentally, a police officer on his bicycle immediately knocked on this guy’s window and told him to hang up. Now that we have moved to the coast, in a much more rural (bushy) area, people just pull off to the side of the road when they need to talk on the phone. Imagine that!!!

6. They use the words “whilst”, “reckon” and “cutlery”. Most of the time I don’t really know half of what people are saying, but I know it sounds more proper than “And then I was like blah blah blah”, or “you ain’t got none”.

7. More signs. For example, if there is a school or park, it is well marked by an additional sign on the street where it is. One day, while walking in Melbourne, I saw a sign that said “Toilet”. I thought it was so freaking hilarious that a street was named toilet, until I realized it was just indicating a public restroom. Very useful information if you have a small bladder!

8. Parents often use “darling” when addressing their children. It is much more endearing than “spaz”, which I am guilty of….

9. If you are a pedestrian, you don’t have the right of way. Better look both ways, then look again. This only makes my list because I am one of those freaks who hates to jaywalk or walk against the light. My best friend is convinced I was hit by a car in a past life because I’m totally anxious about it. Or maybe I was unintentionally preparing for a relocation to a place where you can get hit by a car. And will, if you’re not careful.

10. Less. Less of everything! Fewer choices of products. There aren’t 15 types of peanut butter, 20 brands of laundry soap, 8 choices of salad dressings in cafes. There is what there is and it’s sufficient. And if it’s not, you can pay $40 to have it shipped through Amazon!

Ok, so this is obviously my opinion, and if an Australian is reading this they probably think it’s really stupid, and perhaps not true where they live. But this is the best I can do today, and since it has taken me 2 weeks to get er’ done, I’m done.

In search of the filtered stuff

Here is a picture of me and my Big (big girl, not big cup of coffee) in complete Starbucks Bliss. Australians take their coffee very seriously. So seriously that it is impossible to find regular old filtered american style coffee. I tried to fit in, I really did. I ordered my “flat whites” with “skinny milk” for about a week. Then I realized that the milk was upsetting my stomach, so I switched to the “long black” with a splash of milk. To me, it tasted like tar. So, I finally gave up my $4 cups of fancy coffee and bought a small french press and ground coffee at the market. My stomach and wallet are much happier!
Prior to my French Press investment, I was walking to the Melbourne Aquarium and I happened to see a Starbucks. I felt like a dog who had been kenneled for a month and finally saw her owners pull up to get her. My tail was wagging and I was salivating. After running across the street and nearly busting the front wheels off my stroller when I bashed the curb, I realized they weren’t open for another 3 days. Ugh, I was so disappointed, I put my tail between my legs and shuffled back towards the aquarium, stopping at Gloria Jean’s coffee for another flat white.
Well, last weekend we were taking the train to Geelong/bus to Torquay to sign the lease on our new amazing incredible house (more on that later), and there was a Starbucks in the train station. So, of course I had to get a Venti. To make it even better, the girl working there knew exactly how to make a “half and half” type of cream for it. They don’t have that here, either.
All I can say is, old habits die hard, so I had to document the moment. Best damn cup of coffee I’ve had in a month….

Here goes something…

Greetings and welcome to my blog. Given this is my first post, I feel pretty nervous and I am wondering just how lame this will sound once it is written.

When I first considered entering the “blogosphere” as a means to stay in touch with friends and family back home, I felt pretty confident that I was not witty, smart, or creative enough to get this thing up and running. When people asked me what I was going to do while in Australia (besides raising 2 kids), I would say I was thinking about starting a blog. Most of my friends were very supportive and encouraging. There was, however, one mom/acquaintance from the girl’s school who gave me the “oh yeah…right” (insert eye roll). That snide comment pretty much got me here today. Hey, what’s a little colorful tinge of spite in an otherwise clear set of good intentions?